Originally, the Jungle Cruise was designed to be a vaguely educational sort of attraction, with guests learning about the different major rivers of the world and the animals that inhabit them. However, since the early 1960s, the attraction has evolved, and today it's much better known for the jokes spouted by the various skippers.
With the new Jungle Cruise movie set to debut next summer, it was almost guaranteed that some of those jokes would be immortalized in film. That was confirmed with the release of the first trailer, as Dwayne Johnson dropped the one joke that no Jungle Cruise skipper worth their hat would ever forget, “the back side of water.”
Dwayne Johnson's character looks to have a bit more in common with your average Jungle Cruise skipper than we might have guessed, and while hopefully the movie doesn't take 12 minutes of screen time for a full run through of the attraction, as fans of the Jungle Cruise's fantastically awful jokes, here's hoping a few more will make it into the movie. Here are a few more Jungle Cruise classics we hope to here when we board the Amazon Belle next year.
Those who have not been on the Jungle Cruise often may not realize that many of the animatronic animals actually have names. One of the nile crocodile's is a lovely little thing named Ginger, but don't get too close, as your skipper will tell you.
In the water right there is Ginger. Careful though, Ginger snaps. She’s one tough cookie. I know, I know…it’s a ‘crumby’ joke, but I milk it for all I can
We've seen something of native characters, or possibly fake native characters, in the trailer for Jungle Cruise. I'd put money down right now that the one in charge is named Sam.
The jungle is a dangerous place to be sure, but Disneyland is a family friendly place that's supposed to be suitable for all ages. There are a few times when these two ideas can run into conflict with each other. One is when a pride of lions is discovered having their lunch in the middle of the Jungle Cruise. The skipper's job is to joke this sequence off to make it feel a bit less gruesome.
Don't worry kids! That zebra is just sleeping. Those lions are his friends! The Lions are protecting the sleeping zebra.
While the animatronic animals are certainly designed to be the focus of the entertainment on board the Jungle Cruise, there's still a lot more to be seen. There's some pretty interesting plant life on display as well, which your skipper will be happy to show you.
I’d like to point out some of my favorite plants here in the jungle.
He's happy to show you, but he won't tell you about them. The follow-up to this line is usually the skipper pointing at random plants without saying a word. Not all the Jungle Cruise jokes are groan-inducing puns. To be clear, they're all groan-inducing, they're just not all puns.
Lions aren't the only dangerous cats you'll find on the Jungle Cruise. Tigers are also on the prowl, and the one you'll find on the attraction looks like he's about ready to have the boat full of guests for lunch. The good news, according to the skipper, is that everybody is perfectly safe.
That’s no house cat over there. Bengal Tigers can jump over 20 feet, and we must be at least, well… 19 feet away! Don’t worry, he’ll jump right over us
And now, we’re approaching the beautiful Schweitzer Falls, named after that famous African explorer, Dr. Albert Falls.
My Name Is…
Some of the best Jungle Cruise jokes are saved for last. There are too many for a single skipper to fit in most of the time, so you'll likely need to ride multiple times to get all the good ones. Still, you can imagine Dwayne Johnson's character delivering something like this to his guests at the end of their ride…
If you enjoyed yourself, my name is [name] and this has been the world famous Jungle Cruise. If you didn’t, then my name is Kevin and this has been [another attraction].
Please watch your head when you leave the boat, and if you can’t watch your head, then watch your mouth.
Disneyland and Walt Disney World are family locations of course, and so nobody wants an errant explative to come out of anybody's mouth if they hit their head. At the same time, Jungle Cruise will likely be rated PG-13, so there isn't a lot of room for foul language there either.
And once it's time for everybody to disembark, seriously, just get the hell out.
Now get out! I’m sorry, that was rude. Please get out.
Many of these jokes could certainly be delivered during the actual Jungle Cruise that we see in the trailers, but some could be dropped in as easter eggs for fans of the classic attraction to enjoy. Similar things were done with the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie, so you can be almost certain that the real life attraction will make its way into the fictional movie in a number of different ways.
We'll get to see them all when Jungle Cruise hits theaters next summer.